Fly in my eyE

Burnout Revenge — Review

What a great fucking game.

I woke up an hour early today so I could finish a few races before work. Played 4 hours straight last night: 24% complete, 46 events won, 28 gold medals. I won a Carl's Jr. truck. The only way I can describe the graphics and sense of speed is to say this: this is so close to next-gen stuff that the next gen has it's work cut out for it. Unless of course they have an xbox3shitty version hidding in the shadows, waiting to pounce on my back like a crazed monkey. If thats the case sign me up right now. Who wants their coke cut with meth when you can get the coke that rockstars get?

The new shit: you can smash into same-way traffic now without crashing. You basically shoot the car ahead of you into any oncoming traffic. This makes the game about a bajillion times more fun than B3 as you can now launch traffic at your racing rivals to take them out. It also gives you a crazy speed boost so you can drive around like Jesus built that hotrod. Cars fly everywhere and it reminds you of that highway chase scene in Matrix 2, except that it's fun. This is of course satisfying in the way that hearing the lamentations of the women might satisfy Conan the Barbarian.

Crash mode made me nervous at first. Can't say I dug the power meter thinger right off the bat. It's not long before you master the timing though, so I'll forgive them on that. Really its the only problem with BR, but calling that a problem would be like calling Marylin Monroe's facial mole a problem. I miss the crash icons you aimed for in B3, but they've figured out ways to avoid that. You can coast off cars you crash into now, so you have way more mometum now. Also, you can have mutlitple crashbreakes as the chaos mutliplies. The last crashmode I played I got around $15,000,000. ALOT of shit blew up, and I figure this is just the tip of the ice burg. One thing I really miss is the camera replay. Its gone (unless i missed something... possible but unlikely) and I miss it. Strange that the event that Criterion chose to change the most is arguable the most popular event in the franchise. Ah vell. It still rocks, and I had a blast with it. So its not like it sucks now or anything like that, its just different. I'm not sure if its golf with cars as they advert promised. Maybe bowling with cars?

The sound effects kick ass, and are very hollywood in all respects. They really know how to make glass shatter, metal tear and bend, etc. And that creepy slow-motion crashing noise is back and better than ever. That noise just says crash. As for the music, I turned it off before I played a single race so I will never know. I played with The Dirtbombs and Fu Manchu playing in the background. I suspect that neither band are on EA's trax roster. Probably for the better.

Did you ever see that David Cronenberg movie Crash? The one were they all get off by getting into car crashes? This would be their favorite game when they are in the hospital.

posted by Agent 1138 @ 10:27 AM